Being a parent brings many unknowns and many surprises. Yesterday proved to be quite a memorable day, made possible by an interaction that I had with another mom. I met her as I walked up the stairs to my daughter’s preschool classroom. She stopped me in my tracks when she said, “You’re Lily’s mom right?” to which I responded, “Yep!” She then introduced herself and her son, whom I’ll call Miles. This mom (I’ll call her Jen) told me that her son talks about my daughter all the time (the phrase “all the time” was quite elongated, I could tell she was serious).
Mind you, these are preschool kids – three and four-year-olds, who are just barely learning about the world, and how to interact with one another. Yet, somehow, they seem to be on another dimension of their own, this Miles and Lily. Miles seemed to be smitten with Lily, but she had no idea, and neither did I. I looked at Miles and he had a slightly forlorn look on his face, almost sad, and he said, “I never get to play with Lily.”
“Why?” I asked him.
“Because of Sam,” he responded.
Let me introduce you to the story behind Sam. He’s a little boy in her class who lives not too far from us, and coincidentally we go to the same park often. Ever since Lily and her dad ran into Sam and his dad at the park, those two became best buddies. They played together at the park whenever we were all there at the same time (once Sam reached out and gave Lily a hug, to which she responded by awkwardly hugging him back). This particular boy clearly enjoys being around my daughter, because every time he saw her, whether at school or at the park, he’d instantly ask her if she wants to play with him. He’s an outgoing boy who clearly knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it, whereas the other boy Miles is shy. I suggested to Miles that perhaps he should go over to Lily and play with her even if Sam is there, or he can simply ask her to play with him, and I bet she wouldn’t mind.
Needless to say, my daughter is involved in some sort of early childhood love triangle, to which I am a little bit perplexed and makes her dad (my husband) quite nervous. Like many fathers, he’s not ready to admit that his daughter is growing up, let alone think about the fact that someday she might attract the attention of multiple boys. I can only imagine that in high school, she’ll mention in passing about a boy she likes (or several) and he’d put on his grumpy, serious father face and immediately forbid her to talk about going out with boys ever again.
As her mother, I can only hope that she will never be in a serious, true love triangle where she has to choose between two men to be with. At her age, I was in a much less satisfying situation. I was put in a Catholic preschool, where I was bullied and reprimanded by the nuns all day. Granted, they reprimanded all the kids whenever we were a little bit rowdy, but that’s the predicament you’re in when you go to a Catholic school. Needless to say, I didn’t last too long there.
So the fact that my daughter has not only done so well in preschool so far – she loves going to school so much that she asks to go every single day – and has made several friends brings me happiness and joy. When you’re a parent, you can only hope that your child does well when put in a different environment where they can have their own experiences. You hope that their experiences are going to be a little bit different than yours.
After I picked her up from school, I took her out on a little jaunt to the Pearl District, where we rode the Portland Streetcar for many, many stops. We ended up at this ramen restaurant after running an errand. Although she clung to hand tightly, freaking out every time I tried to release it, I had fun with this little girl – for she is mine, my daughter true and true. She is so much like me in some ways but completely different from me in others. I love her dearly.